Perhaps the hardest part about Theo breaking his arm over the summer was trying to keep things in our house as fair as possible. Cooper and Milo could play in the pool, but Theo could not. The other boys were able to play catch, roll around in the dirt, and ride bikes, while each of these was a little harder for Theo. Eating was tricky, and so some food, like messy sandwiches, had to be avoided.
If I wanted to make everything equal, I think I could manage that, but it would mean a lot of harsh restrictions: No one goes swimming, plays catch, or rides bikes. To avoid being the worst parents ever and simultaneously ruining summer, Amanda and I came up with a phrase for whatever was going to happen: “It might not be equal, but it will be fair.” Or at least as fair as possible, practically speaking; if Milo and Cooper are playing in the pool, Theo can stay inside and watch a movie. If we were playing a game that required two hands, we would modify the rules to keep things fair. As a family, we decided to make concessions and keep things relatively fair.
A few weeks ago, we looked at the parable of the talents in Matthew 25; to some, it might seem unfair that there were differing amounts of talents doled out to each servant. Why should one get 5 and another two? Those feelings come from a place of self-centeredness. When we hear the word “fair,” we think that means equal. Equality is about sameness, while fairness is about the outcome or equity.
In that parable, everyone gets the same final result: “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’” (Matthew 25:21). In the end, those who are faithful enter into the joy of their master.
There are rich Christians, and poor Christians. There are extremely talented Christians, and some are more average. Some become giants of faith, and others live quieter lives (this is still godly- (1 Timothy 2:1-4). But understand this parable: even though there are differing amounts provided, the distinction- what we will be judged on is whether or not we are faithful.
We should not be worried about everyone being the same and doing the same thing (1 Corinthians 12 refutes this well); we should be concerned if we are faithful with what we have been given. When it came to our boys this summer, it was impossible to make everything the exact same; but we could make it fairer, hopefully keeping the joy of summer alive. Jesus’ disciples were always worried about who was the “greatest” in the kingdom; Jesus easily counters this question by using the example of a humble child (Matthew 18). We should not be concerned with everyone being equal; we should be concerned if we are living faithfully.
When we live faithfully, we will receive our reward. In this way, we understand that the ultimate goal for us is to appreciate that our lives are fair but not equal.