Raising kids is hard, and the challenge lies in helping them become decent adults. Every parent wants their children to be better off than they themselves were. Some strive for this through wealth, while others emphasize higher education. My goal is to strengthen my children’s spiritual lives, aiming for them to know God and His truths better than I do. I want the love of Christ to be evident in their hearts, which is no easy task.
Recently, two of my children were arguing, which escalated into a physical confrontation. One child was engaged in a dangerous activity that could have easily led to injury. The other child, seeing the potential risk, intervened and reprimanded their sibling for their reckless behavior, albeit in a rather aggressive manner—this included yelling and pinning the offending child down until I arrived. There were also some hurtful names exchanged and a few punches thrown.
When I arrived on the scene, I had to mediate between the two. I concluded that while the older child had good intentions in trying to help, the situation was not handled well. I explained that although the older sibling was right to intervene, there are better ways to address such situations in the future.
Was it wise? Yes. Was it kind? No.
I have read enough of the wisdom literature in the Bible to understand that our ultimate objective is to draw near to God and listen to Him. Developing a relationship with Him is crucial. While we may know the truth, we must also share it with others, and the way we do so can take many forms.
Proverbs 19:21-23 “There are many plans in a man’s heart; nevertheless, the LORD’s counsel—that will stand. What is desired in a man is kindness, and a poor man is better than a liar. The fear of the LORD leads to life, and he who has it will abide in satisfaction; he will not be visited with evil.”
We may understand that we should rely on the counsel of the Lord and recognize that the fear of the Lord leads to life. However, what others truly desire from us is kindness. We could confront them aggressively and force them to “know” God better, but such an approach is ineffective and foolish to consider.
This passage emphasizes the importance of honesty while delivering the truth in a kind manner—one that will be well-received and endure over time. When Paul writes to the church in Ephesus, he shares similar advice on fostering unity.
Ephesians 4:15-16 “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him, the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”
There will certainly be hard truths that need to be communicated, and we should not shy away from this for the sake of those we care about. However, we must also embody kindness and demonstrate love, allowing all of us to grow closer to each other and ultimately to Christ. When we live this way, we can ask ourselves: Is It Wise Or Is It Kind? And hopefully, we can affirm that they are both.