It is one of the first things we teach our kids and falls under the umbrella of manners. When we need something from someone, we politely say, “Please.” If that person graciously fulfills our request, we are expected to respond with, “Thank you.” I remember practicing those simple phrases with my kids—reciting “please” while holding out my hand, waiting for a gift, and then saying “thank you” when it was handed to me. I also made sure to reciprocate when my boys did the same. If you need something, you say “please.” If you receive something, you say “thank you.”
For much of our lives, we probably recite these phrases without truly thinking about their significance. We are often on a sort of societal autopilot. However, we have been conditioned to use these expressions because they convey deeper meaning. Good manners not only make the world a better place, but they also show others that we acknowledge and value them. Even when interacting with strangers, using polite phrases can lead others to perceive us as kinder and more trustworthy.
There is something even more intriguing about using these phrases: they reinforce the very attitudes we express verbally. When I say “please” and “thank you,” I personally feel an increase in gratitude, and when others hear those words, they are more likely to exhibit altruistic behavior in return. While we should never try to manipulate others with our words, it’s important to understand that using manners changes us for the better. This is precisely why God encourages us to continually practice thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6).
In Greek, the word for thanksgiving is εὐχαριστία (eucharistía), a compound word that combines εὐ (eu = good) and χαρισ (charis = gift). Notably, charis is also the word for grace, referring to an undeserved gift or favor. When we practice thanksgiving, we acknowledge that we have received things we did not earn. By being thankful, we reflect that everything we possess is a gift from someone, and ultimately, all good gifts come from God. As James states, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17). This realization requires us to recognize that we do not deserve everything we believe we do, and it calls us to consider the goodness of the giver. Both aspects necessitate a shift in our thinking—focusing on others rather than solely on ourselves.
The practice of thanksgiving relates as much to our attitudes as it does to the blessings we have received. When we express gratitude, we reflect on the good things bestowed upon us—things we did not achieve on our own. While it’s easy to convince ourselves that our blessings are solely the result of hard work and perseverance, we will find greater satisfaction in recognizing that we have been blessed by God. This awareness helps us understand how important it is to say, “Please,” and “Thank you.”